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Saturday, September 11, 2010

One Day at a Time

Has a day ever gone by where your mind just won't rest. Everything you have going on, or jobs you need to prepare for are swirling around in your head crippling you from actually doing anything productive. In fact, this feeling of being overwhelmed is causing you to lash out in anger and resentment to people you actually love dearly!? This week I had one of those days that I felt everything going on in my life needed to be sorted out now! There was no rational thinking, it was total and complete worry, I abandoned all senses and went into full reaction mode I like to call it. Simply reacting to life's situations without self control, just the way I feel like reacting at any given moment.

As you can imagine, this is pretty dangerous and damaging behavior! Especially to those you love the most, those living within the four walls of your own home. I won't go into gruesome detail of all the stupidity that took place, all of the actions and words I wish could be taken back and buried someplace. But I will mention that on the phone yesterday I found myself saying the most absurd thing! When asked how Rob and I were doing, personally, I responded cheerfully and very matter-of-factly with something like, "Rob and I try and remind each other that we need to live moment by moment, day by day. Things become far too overwhelming if we try and focus on everything all at once." Now, I don't think anything is wrong with that statement, however, I am convinced that it was the Holy Spirit talking through me, at me. This is what we pray for, how we wish we conducted everyday life, but it certainly wasn't our reality at that moment.

Please pray for us right now. We feel like we are doing a balancing act right now, and need to keep trusting that God is ultimately in control, wanting us to lean fully on Him!

3 comments:

Amanda September 11, 2010 at 9:22 AM  

Oh dear Friend, I know what you are saying. I too have been irrationally angry at people in the last couple weeks because I am just stressed out. I too know how awful uncertainty and transition can be. Please know that I lend out my prayers to you and your family. As people have been saying to me "This too shall pass." And I urge you to take moments in the day to centre yourself, realizing where your strength comes from. Also be gracious with yourself. You are going through so much and you are doing such an amazing job. You have such a solid foundation and I know you can get through these times. I love you and am thinking of you. xo

Melissa-Ann September 11, 2010 at 7:31 PM  

wow. I totally understand everything you wrote here.
I could have written it myself. Its something I have to always ask the Lord to help me overcome.

Nick and Jocelyn September 13, 2010 at 5:18 PM  

Wow, do we know how you feel. My heart goes out to you during this time as each of has our own struggles in the friend-raising process.

We are praying for you. I know we hit a point as well of desperation, but you are loved.

Let us know if you need anything!